i hate it when i start spacing out cos my head gets to filled with everything that it focuses on nothing and ends up being super unproductive.
sometimes i think i'm too confusing for my own good. like even writing this entry has got me writing one sentence, deleting it then writing another sentence that means the opposite of what i have written...
and then i do wonder how is it that people actually remember stuff... my short and long term memory both seems to be disfunctional. stuff that i've read or seen before disappears and leave no trace even though i know i've done it before.
i did get a couple of close to panic attacks today. starting with waking up to a potential nightmare. this is totally not good. dunno what's happening to me. i just wanna be able to go through one day feeling like a normal person having normal conversations without my mind wandering off to pursue another train of thought that should not matter at that point in time and then not be able to focus on what should matter instead.
i probably shouldn't blog either when my thoughts are a mess cos it just doesn't make a very good read
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