Wednesday, January 30, 2013
what matters
|
Climbing
|
Working
|
Relationship-ing
|
Why are you here?
Cos I love being able to figure out a route and be able to connect
with others in a way that only climbers can. More importantly, because I can.
What do you want?
Fame and Glory. Ok. I’m kidding. Being able to climbing something
awesome. Take some good pictures while at it. Inspire some people.
How much does it matter?
10 years of my life and counting. The connections are more important
and if I never find another way to gain that, it will still remain a pretty
big part in keeping me sane.
What’s it going to take?
Time and Sacrifices.
Who’s on your side?
Friends and the Climbing Community
Where’s your true north?
Climbing Trips with friends
What breaks your heart?
That people stop climbing and we lose touch
What’s it worth?
Everything but being alone
|
Why are you here?
Cos I need to gain confidence and ideas about what I am going to do
with the rest of my working life and accounting wasn’t it.
What do you want?
The sense of satisfaction that I have found meaning and purpose in
life. Something sustainable and challenging that allows me to shine.
How much does it matter?
Enough that I will keep trying until I get it right. Enough that I
will talk to people to try and find out more. Enough that I will keep searching
till the cows come home.
What’s it going to take?
Resilience and Courage.
Who’s on your side?
Family and Friends
Where’s your true north?
“Brand” of my own
What breaks your heart?
That I’ll be stuck pushing paper till the end of time
What’s it worth?
Everything but my conscience
|
Why are you here?
Cos it is lonely walking alone. There’s so much of life’s journey
that is better experienced with another close by your side.
What do you want?
Someone there for me. Someone I can be there for. Someone that I
trust to start a family with. Someone to grow up and grow old with.
How much does it matter?
Regardless of how many times I’m burnt or hurt, I’ll pick myself up
again and give myself another chance. I’ll stay positive and assume the best
again until proven otherwise.
What’s it going to take?
Luck.
Who’s on your side?
Him
Where’s your true north?
“Happy Ever After”
What breaks your heart?
That I disappoint the love of my life and my family
What’s it worth?
Everything but climbing
|
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Monday, January 21, 2013
21.01.2013
It's only been 2 months but already, it seems like forever since we got together.
Two months since that night at gardens by the bay. Trapped under a fake mushroom while skirting around each other. The rain falling around us.
Gentle brushes. Holding hands. Longing glances...
Apart. Together. United by whatsapp.
Breakfast for dinners. Lazy weekends.
Cakes, Climbing, Cycling, Christmas, Colgate, Countdown, Chocolates, Couches, Conversations, Caresses...
As for today.... Waiting for me to get off work and choosing to spend time with me despite bring locked out of his house...
All the Cs we do just make me cheesy as it may be...
Content!
Two months since that night at gardens by the bay. Trapped under a fake mushroom while skirting around each other. The rain falling around us.
Gentle brushes. Holding hands. Longing glances...
Apart. Together. United by whatsapp.
Breakfast for dinners. Lazy weekends.
Cakes, Climbing, Cycling, Christmas, Colgate, Countdown, Chocolates, Couches, Conversations, Caresses...
As for today.... Waiting for me to get off work and choosing to spend time with me despite bring locked out of his house...
All the Cs we do just make me cheesy as it may be...
Content!
Friday, January 18, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Where's the rain when you need it?
To hide the tears that threaten to run freely...
To wash away the pain and sadness...
To feed your thirst after you've drowned...
To wash away the pain and sadness...
To feed your thirst after you've drowned...
Monday, January 14, 2013
arghh
So lost... So torn...
Just wanna stop these thoughts and get on with life...
Damn emotions. Damn temptations.
Why do I feel the need to reexamine my life every feel weeks and get myself sounding like such a head case.
Keep calm and stay sane.
Just wanna stop these thoughts and get on with life...
Damn emotions. Damn temptations.
Why do I feel the need to reexamine my life every feel weeks and get myself sounding like such a head case.
Keep calm and stay sane.
Friday, January 11, 2013
a matter of perspective
There, out in the darkness
A fugitive running
Fallen from god
Fallen from grace
God be my witness
I never shall yield
Till we come face to face
Till we come face to face
He knows his way in the dark
Mine is the way of the Lord
And those who follow the path of the righteous
Shall have their reward
And if they fall
As Lucifer fell
The flame
The sword!
Stars
In your multitudes
Scarce to be counted
Filling the darkness
With order and light
You are the sentinels
Silent and sure
Keeping watch in the night
Keeping watch in the night
You know your place in the sky
You hold your course and your aim
And each in your season
Returns and returns
And is always the same
And if you fall as Lucifer fell
You fall in flame!
And so it has been and so it is written
On the doorway to paradise
That those who falter and those who fall
Must pay the price!
Lord let me find him
That I may see him
Safe behind bars
I will never rest
Till then
This I swear
This I swear by the stars!
---
Who is this man?
What sort of devil is he
To have me caught in a trap
And choose to let me go free?
It was his hour at last
To put a seal on my fate
Wipe out the past
And wash me clean off the slate!
All it would take
Was a flick of his knife.
Vengeance was his
And he gave me back my life!
Damned if I'll live in the debt of a thief!
Damned if I'll yield at the end of the chase.
I am the Law and the Law is not mocked
I'll spit his pity right back in his face
There is nothing on earth that we share
It is either Valjean or Javert!
How can I now allow this man
To hold dominion over me?
This desperate man whom I have hunted
He gave me my life. He gave me freedom.
I should have perished by his hand
It was his right.
It was my right to die as well
Instead I live... but live in hell.
And my thoughts fly apart
Can this man be believed?
Shall his sins be forgiven?
Shall his crimes be reprieved?
And must I now begin to doubt,
Who never doubted all these years?
My heart is stone and still it trembles
The world I have known is lost in shadow.
Is he from heaven or from hell?
And does he know
That granting me my life today
This man has killed me even so?
I am reaching, but I fall
And the stars are black and cold
As I stare into the void
Of a world that cannot hold
I'll escape now from the world
From the world of Jean Valjean.
There is nowhere I can turn
There is no way to go on....
---
While watching Les Miserables this time, the character that seems to have kept me thinking the most was Javert. Themes of Blind Misguided Justice, Redemption & Repentance, Law vs Morality, Definitions of Good and Evil has kept me up especially now that Ben has provided me with the sound track. Seems to hard to try and put it down in a proper argument especially with Gravical and work taking up so much of my head space too. I must say it is rather different from my previous take of Les Mis when I watched parts of it during my primary school days for choir. It was definitely more towards the themes of dreams and despair then. Cosette and Castle in the Clouds and I dream a dream, futile revolutions.
Time, maturity and experience really changes your perspective on a similar situation and open your eyes to things you never noticed before.
A fugitive running
Fallen from god
Fallen from grace
God be my witness
I never shall yield
Till we come face to face
Till we come face to face
He knows his way in the dark
Mine is the way of the Lord
And those who follow the path of the righteous
Shall have their reward
And if they fall
As Lucifer fell
The flame
The sword!
Stars
In your multitudes
Scarce to be counted
Filling the darkness
With order and light
You are the sentinels
Silent and sure
Keeping watch in the night
Keeping watch in the night
You know your place in the sky
You hold your course and your aim
And each in your season
Returns and returns
And is always the same
And if you fall as Lucifer fell
You fall in flame!
And so it has been and so it is written
On the doorway to paradise
That those who falter and those who fall
Must pay the price!
Lord let me find him
That I may see him
Safe behind bars
I will never rest
Till then
This I swear
This I swear by the stars!
---
Who is this man?
What sort of devil is he
To have me caught in a trap
And choose to let me go free?
It was his hour at last
To put a seal on my fate
Wipe out the past
And wash me clean off the slate!
All it would take
Was a flick of his knife.
Vengeance was his
And he gave me back my life!
Damned if I'll live in the debt of a thief!
Damned if I'll yield at the end of the chase.
I am the Law and the Law is not mocked
I'll spit his pity right back in his face
There is nothing on earth that we share
It is either Valjean or Javert!
How can I now allow this man
To hold dominion over me?
This desperate man whom I have hunted
He gave me my life. He gave me freedom.
I should have perished by his hand
It was his right.
It was my right to die as well
Instead I live... but live in hell.
And my thoughts fly apart
Can this man be believed?
Shall his sins be forgiven?
Shall his crimes be reprieved?
And must I now begin to doubt,
Who never doubted all these years?
My heart is stone and still it trembles
The world I have known is lost in shadow.
Is he from heaven or from hell?
And does he know
That granting me my life today
This man has killed me even so?
I am reaching, but I fall
And the stars are black and cold
As I stare into the void
Of a world that cannot hold
I'll escape now from the world
From the world of Jean Valjean.
There is nowhere I can turn
There is no way to go on....
---
While watching Les Miserables this time, the character that seems to have kept me thinking the most was Javert. Themes of Blind Misguided Justice, Redemption & Repentance, Law vs Morality, Definitions of Good and Evil has kept me up especially now that Ben has provided me with the sound track. Seems to hard to try and put it down in a proper argument especially with Gravical and work taking up so much of my head space too. I must say it is rather different from my previous take of Les Mis when I watched parts of it during my primary school days for choir. It was definitely more towards the themes of dreams and despair then. Cosette and Castle in the Clouds and I dream a dream, futile revolutions.
Time, maturity and experience really changes your perspective on a similar situation and open your eyes to things you never noticed before.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
One more year... One more gravical
Feels so out of sync with boulder comps and route setting. The next couple of days is gonna be tough although I don't think I'm as productive or as psych as I once was abt route setting. Perhaps I did indeed have an overdose if it while coaching the girls. Or maybe a whole bunch of guys and being the only gal setting routes there just feels off. Or perhaps I'm old and have moved on to focusing on other stuff.
Have a feeling I'm gonna destroy my elbow before the weekend is here. It's already protesting from just testing a couple of routes tonight. I know I should tape but somehow it feels too attention seeking. ><
ok. Time to crash and have another 6am super productive day at work
Have a feeling I'm gonna destroy my elbow before the weekend is here. It's already protesting from just testing a couple of routes tonight. I know I should tape but somehow it feels too attention seeking. ><
ok. Time to crash and have another 6am super productive day at work
Sunday, January 6, 2013
off to a good start ~!
warm fuzzy feelings ~!
sent my first 7a of the year (first in a long long while too) so happy ^^
---
i'm glad i have finally found someone i wanna share my moments of happiness with... someone to once again get me excited about things i have done and will do... someone who I am also comfortable enough with to show the more down times and the vulnerable side.. without fear of being judge...
while many new things are being discovered anything... and closets are being opened and skeletons are revealed... it's nice to have someone supportive through it all... someone to chase away the fear and hesitation... to make you laugh away the silly worries... to make you all tingly and fuzzy... to be lazy with and catch a breather... to encourage and give you a helping hand when you're tired... and to just be there when you need a shoulder to lean on...
---
sent my first 7a of the year (first in a long long while too) so happy ^^
---
i'm glad i have finally found someone i wanna share my moments of happiness with... someone to once again get me excited about things i have done and will do... someone who I am also comfortable enough with to show the more down times and the vulnerable side.. without fear of being judge...
while many new things are being discovered anything... and closets are being opened and skeletons are revealed... it's nice to have someone supportive through it all... someone to chase away the fear and hesitation... to make you laugh away the silly worries... to make you all tingly and fuzzy... to be lazy with and catch a breather... to encourage and give you a helping hand when you're tired... and to just be there when you need a shoulder to lean on...
---
i'm lovin' it
exercise self-control for it makes the times you do indulge a whole lot more special and awesome...
Thursday, January 3, 2013
and in the darkest of night... shines the brightest of light...
sometimes days pass without you really notice what's happening...
seconds blur into minutes blur into hours blur into days blur into months blur into years...
and all of a sudden you're at the end of the tunnel...
wondering how you arrived there...
what you have done...
who you have met...
who you have left...
what you have not...
... wondering ...
... are you or are you not ...
seconds blur into minutes blur into hours blur into days blur into months blur into years...
and all of a sudden you're at the end of the tunnel...
wondering how you arrived there...
what you have done...
who you have met...
who you have left...
what you have not...
... wondering ...
... are you or are you not ...
Old and creaky
One of those days where I actually wake up feeling mentally awake and psyched but physically destroyed and wondering what I did to be hurting in so many places.
Has climbing started to take its toll? Seems unlikely since I haven't been pushing much... And yet what other reasons could there been to explain a shoulder wrist neck and ankle pains.
Perhaps the Physio session tmr is indeed long overdue. Time to stop ignoring the symptoms and start working on recovery again. I do want to be able to climb at my max come march in blue mountains.
Has climbing started to take its toll? Seems unlikely since I haven't been pushing much... And yet what other reasons could there been to explain a shoulder wrist neck and ankle pains.
Perhaps the Physio session tmr is indeed long overdue. Time to stop ignoring the symptoms and start working on recovery again. I do want to be able to climb at my max come march in blue mountains.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Happy New Year ~!
2012 ended awesomely with my being in a good place and getting a lot of things that I want. 2013 shall thus be about holding on to that and making the best out of it all.
This year, I resolve simply to find a balance between work, family, friends, special someone, climbing and travelling. To find a way to prioritise them all so that I achieve the best I can.
And of course, to be happy through it all.
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